June...Reality Hits Hard...

The reason my blog has been un-touched for a few months is because of the bomb shell that hit us in June. On May 17th I had my yearly mammogram. I got a call when we returned home from Oregon to come get another mammogram and an ultrasound. I knew then that didn't sound good. So June 3rd I went in for my second mammo. They did what they call a "spot" mammo. They go where they suspected something and with a small round plastic disc "SMASH" YOUR BOOB AS FLAT AS THEY CAN...and you guessed it, it really hurts. Even the technician told me it would hurt! Then she had the Doctor look at the film and she walked me over to ultrasound. Told them where to search and left me there. The technician looked and then brought in another technician to look...and then gave me a piece of paper and said, "You need to have a biospsy and if they don't call you in a few days call this number". It couldn't have been more mechanical and cold!! (I have met nothing but nice people through all of my appointments dealing with this except them.)

So as Murphy's law would have it they did not call and I called for 2 days and nothing! Only answering machines. So, I called my doctor and told her what was going on and she said she would have her staff get me the appointment. Her staff called me back in 30 minutes just to report to me that they were having a hard time getting through to them too...and they have an inside number! Finally, in 2 hours they called me with an appointment.

On June 12th I went to Vallejo (Bob drove me) to have a Core Biopsy. That is where they go in with a special needle that actually cuts out small tissue pieces. The ultrasound technician is there and finds the lump and the Doctor comes in and deadens the area and they go in and he took about 9 pieaces of tissue. It makes a clicking noise as he gets it. I did not feel anything during the procedure. I felt pain afterwards though. They sent me home with an ice pack and I iceed about 6 hours on and off. I was told it would take 4 or 5 working days to get results. Of course this was a friday! (note: 5 days before the biopsy I had to quit taking Aleve that I take for pain for my arthritus...WOW was I in pain for 5 days!!!)

On June 16th my doctor called me (sooner than I thought) and said right off the bat..
"I have bad news Amelia, you have breast cancer. I am so sorry. You are such a nice person and you do not need this. This just isn't fair." I will never forget her words. She was so tender and caring. How do you tell someone they have cancer?
I feel she did a great job. I started to cry and my first thought was how do I tell Bob and my children? She explained it was very small and said how wise I was to keep up on my yearly mammograms. (note: I couldn't feel it and neither could my surgeon) She told me I had an apt. the next day with the Breast Specialist Nurse.

I got off the phone and thought, "How do I tell Bob?" Luck was on my side...Bob had
forgotten his phone that day...so I didn't have to pretend all was well...that would have pushed my acting skills for sure! I had about 2 hours to compose myself and figure out how to tell him. When He walked in he started to explain and excuse himself for being late (he was 1 hour late)...I just looked at him and held his hands and said, it is OK...(I am thinking it gave me more time to figure this out!)
So I started: Bob,I got a call from my doctor today and she got the results from my biopsy...I have Breast Cancer. He just said, "NO..." Then we sat down and he held me as I cried and talked about what she said. I don't mean to be so graffic but not everyone know this tender side of Bob. I want his children and grandchildren to know this. I really don't remember much about that night...all I know it was a long, long, night.

So, Bob and I went to the apt.the next day and she explained all about breast cancer and how it is MY CHOICE of treatment! I never knew that. But by law I choose what I want done to me. She told me since it was so small I could have a lumpectomy followed by Radiation Therapy or a Masectomy. We felt encouraged by her words. Chemo would be decided after surgery depending how much it had spread. She gave us a folder with reading material and a great book called "I Flunked My Mammogram!" As we left the room she gave me two heart pillows she told me would help me after surgery. She said they were from the Breast Cancer Society. There was little note attached but I didn't read it then. I looked up at Bob as we walked down the hall and I said, "I am truly a cancer patient"...and more tears. Can I say right here....Bob has been a rock for me. He has held his emotions from me. I asked how he was doing one day and he said the day after we found out about my cancer he was glad he was alone driving to work. (He usually commutes with another guy from his office) I finally read the note on the pillows as I put them on my bookshelf. It said, These were handmade with love from the Sisters of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Vacaville 2nd Ward! OK...you guessed it more tears....that isn't my Ward but still a great service they rendered.

June 26th the total results were back from my biopsy stating that my HER-gene was negative and my hormones were positive. So I will be on a special drug to suppress my estrogen and progesterone. Cancer thrives on hormones...especially estrogen. This will be a drug I will take for 5 years. But, again it will save my life. That is how I am looking at all I have to go through...SAVE MY LIFE!

On July 2nd Bob and I met my surgeon Dr. Lim. We really liked him and he has done
Breast cancer surgeries for 20 years. He set the date (first opening) for July 17th.
so if you see my first date of this...May 19th for my mammogram it was a 2 month ordeal of the first steps.

Also in June we had our son, Paul and 3 granddaughters have birthdays, Ryann and Addison Jones, and Makayla Fawson. My parents had their 67th wedding anniversary, and my sister Mayna had a birthday. Chelsea Sweaney who is Bob's sisters daughter turned 18 on the 14th chose to get baptized on the 20th of June. We are so proud of her. We would have been there if I wasn't going to all these appointments! Bob's Mom came and stayed with us from the 21 of June to the 28th. Jim, Bob's brother, oldest daughter Jeenifer and John got sealed in the Oakland Temple on the 27th of June. That was so good to attend that event. I have enclosed a picture of that event.

After seeing all that went on in June can you see why I had no time to write??!!